


Past Dream

by BillieJ



Category: Hatfields & McCoys (TV 2012), Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 21:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1663814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BillieJ/pseuds/BillieJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crossover with "Hatfield&McCoys"/ AU Reincarnation </p><p>"Mickey felt weird. Some awful weight over his chest was somehow gone and his head felt empty. He was pretty joyful, even if he was sad. His conscience felt like it was shutting down and replaced, and after a hint of panic, he just let himself go.<br/>- I miss my Pa, Uncle Wall, he heard himself horribly slowly saying to the beardy man.<br/>He nodded, a hollow look on his face and patted his upper arm.<br/>- It’s fine, Cotton-Top. Why don’t you go pay him a visit ?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hi ! Reincarnation fic today ! Who hasn't seen the briliant "Hatfield & McCoys" starring Noel Fisher as Ellison "Cotton-top" Mounts ? Well, I'm a big fan of Gallavich, and I had this idea to make sort of a Crossover reincarnation fanfiction ? I hope it's not too bad.
> 
> I hope people who haven't seen the movie will understand okay... if not, well, do yourself a favor and watch it. All six hours. It's PERFECT.
> 
> Enjoy !

* * *

 

Mickey rubbed his eyes. He was tired, but at the same time he felt a aching pinch in his heart, fluttering sound vibrating through his soul. He didn't know how he felt like. He sat on the edge of the bed, waiting.

Ian came in the room after him glancing at his siblings and rubbing at his heart wincing slightly. Mickey blinked at this motion. He shook his head and moved to let Ian place himself.

\- I’m so tired, Mick. G ‘night.

\- Mmh.

Mickey fell asleep as soon as his head rested on the pillow, Ian’s arm on his own.

 

* * *

 

 

\- Where are you going, Cotton-Top ?

Mickey felt weird. Some awful weight over his chest was somehow gone and his head felt empty. He was pretty joyful, even if he was sad. His conscience felt like it was shutting down and replaced, and after a hint of panic, he just let himself go.

\- I miss my Pa, Uncle Wall, he heard himself horribly slowly saying to the beardy man.

He nodded, a hollow look on his face and patted his upper arm.

\- It’s fine, Cotton-Top. Why don’t you go pay him a visit ?

\- But… started Ellison, Uncle Anse said it wasn’t good to stay all the time.

\- Well, it does not mean you cannot sometimes.

Ellison Carrot-Top Mounts toothy smiled.

The boy walked out Judge Wall house where he was staying and went to the cemetery. It was a long walk, but it was still warm so he took his time, feeling the breeze tickling his face.

He arrived to the cemetery and sighed, his head fidgeting, trying hard to calm down.

Arriving at the stone, he kneeled, put down the new beautiful flowers he had picked on his way and started cleaning the grass around the stone.

He threw every rotted and dry herb away, and make a beautiful setting for the new flowers.

\- Here Pa. This is yours.

Cotton-Top sat, silent, his head resting on his knees. He was there for a while when he heard someone walk behind him.

\- Hello.

Cotton-Top jumped, shocked. He turned around to find a boy, around his age, with beautiful red hair.

\- Hello, replied Ellison, unsure.

The guy looked a the the grave and back at Cotton-Top.

\- Was he… very important ?

\- It is my Pa’s grave. He has been murdered.

The guy opened and closed his mouth several time before he just looked down. Cotton-Top followed his reaction and looked down too when he saw the guy was going to speak.

\- I’m sorry for your loss. I heard about it.

He paused.

\- My grandmother just died. She’s buried down the cemetery. I just went for a walk during the funeral and when I came back; everybody had just left.

Cotton-Top’s mouth was left open. The boy just sat with him, patting his father’s grave and talking to him like nobody ever had. He couldn’t understand, until he thought about something.

\- You know I am a mush-head ?

His voice was slow, in detached syllables so he could speak the whole words correctly, and unsteady because he breathed too fast.

The redhead looked at him quizzically. He finally just smiled.

\- It’s okay.

Cotton-Top blinked. Once. Twice. Okay ? Was it ever really okay ? Other people so often seemed to think it wasn’t, even if Cotton-Top never had anything to do with them. The boy had a nice sincere expression and Ellison just smiled back.

\- What is your name ?

* * *

 

It turned out the boy’s name was Colin O'Callaghan. He was Irish but had nothing to do with the McCoys, and since his grandfather once made important deals with Devil Anse’s father, he was kind of in the Hatfield side of the war.

He didn’t live very far away from Judge Wall’s, so Ellison and him would hang out sometimes.

\- Okey, dokey ! Let’s go to that rabbit place !

Colin showed a toothy smile and at this sight, Ellison felt his heart fluttering.

\- Where is it Ellison ?

Colin called him by his real name. He didn’t know what to feel about that sometimes.

\- You know, everybody calls me Cotton-Top, he said to him again.

\- I know Eli. So where is the rabbit place ?

Cotton-Top couldn’t believe what was happening to him. He had an actual friend. He had someone so nice, so carey that he felt like he could trust him already.

\- Maybe Billy will want to go ? he said to Colin, unsure.

\- Billy is hunting with his brother, patiently reminded him Colin.

Right. Remembering things late like that didn’t bother Cotton-Top when O'Callaghan was the one telling him things. He hated the way the other laughed loudly at him. He grew not to care, but none of his cousins were letting people taunt him too openly, obviously hurt for him, and he didn’t like people hurting his family.

But Colin, he was a normal other guy, he wasn’t even in his family and they hadn’t grew up together but Ellison felt like he was good for him. His father once had this role in his life but he was gone forever and the other McCoys seemed to want all of them dead or in prison, so he was glad the Irish lad was here.

He waved at him and they went by the country and entered a forest.

Cotton-Top followed a butterfly and Colin walked behind him, his gorgeous smile plastered on his face. They stopped by a little glade, in which a family of rabbit with a lot of little ones was playing.

They sat down, and in the sudden silence, Cotton-Top fidgeted again.

\- I know I am a mush-head… started Cotton-Top, as fast as he could speak.

\- Don’t call yourself mean things Ellison, cut Colin. You’re perfect the way you are.

Cotton-Top observed him, the mouth gaped.

\- I… I… I just had a question.

Colin picked a green long weed and nodded.

\- Of course. Go ahead.

\- Is it possible to love people you’re not supposed to ?

Colin’s eyes widened. He looked up at Cotton-Top with a questionning look.

\- What do you mean not supposed to ? Do you mean like a McCoy person ?

Cotton-Top shook his head.

\- No, like a man person.

Colin had a disbelieving look.

\- You mean, love as in… marrying and having babies ?

Cotton-Top, not startled at all, nodded with a smile.

Colin brushed his hand through his hair, uneasy.

\- Well...People think it’s awful for two men to be something. So it’s possible, I guess. Why would you ask that ?

\- Because I love you.

Colin’s mouth gaped. Cotton-Top wouldn’t look at him. Colin stared at him a few second, noticing Ellison’s blue eyes fluttering, and his head and hands fidgeting with nervosity and he couldn’t help but smile back.

\- And I love you too Ellison.

\- Really ? he said back with a large smile. Even if I’m stupid ?

Colin shook his head.

\- You’re not stupid, you are good. You have such a big heart, that what makes you smart, not dumbasses ready to kill each other over pride and… pigs.

Cotton-Top nodded, not sure how to react at what Colin just said.

\- I think you have a good heart too, Colin, mumbled Cotton-Top.

\- You do ? smiled Colin.

Cotton-Top just nodded and looked nervously at Colin, not wanting to stare with too much insistence but can’t helping himself either.

Colin was staring back, his smile widening. They were alone, in the middle of a wild forest. The only noises they could hear was the river flowing and some animals in the bushes.

Cotton-Top felt himself becoming nervous. The only other time he had felt like he wanted to kiss someone, the other boy had made his life a living hell. He still wasn’t sure why. One thing he was sure about, is that he didn’t want Colin calling him stupid and disgusting.

He started to feel like trapped animal, when the other boy, noticing his discomfort, raised a calm hand and brushed it through his face.

Cotton’s breath calmed and he stared at Colin’s face.

\- Why are you nice with me ?

Colin sighed, a sad look upon his face.

\- Because you’re so pure, that makes me love you very much.

* * *

 

Cotton had headed home this dawn his what seemed like butterflies in his stomach. He kept smiling along the way home, listening to Colin telling him hunting stories he heard from his drunk cousins.

\- Uncle Wall says Irish people drink way too much, commented Cotton.

Colin laughed very loud.

\- Well, it sounds really true, don’t you think ?

\- You don’t drink too much.

Colin smiled at him.

\- Meet me some night this week, I’ll bring something to drink.

Cotton nodded. They had stopped in the middle of the road, since Cotton had to go one way and Colin the other. They looked at each other in the eyes, not sure how to separate their ways right away.

\- I’ll go to Johnse, he makes drinks in his caban, said Cotton.

\- Does he?

Cotton nodded.

\- Do you like to drink, Eli ?

Cotton’s face went blank.

\- People drink to be stupid. But I’m already stupid.

Colin sighed. He took Cotton’s head in his long hands and looked at him right in his eyes.

\- Please don’t call yourself mean things. It makes me sad, said Colin.

Cotton stared at him with wide disbelieving eyes.

\- No… is it true ? he smiled.

\- Yes it is true.

\- I really love you. I don’t want you to be sad.

Colin smiled.

\- So, will you stop being mean to yourself ?

Cotton nodded.

* * *

 

Cotton was sitting on the bench, next to Cap and facing his Uncle Jim.

He watched Johnse drinking long swigs of beer and whiskey with an interested look.

\- Hey, Cap, why is Johnse drinking so much ?

Cap turned his only functioning eye to his brother, watching him spill some whiskey on his clothes and ignoring the attentions of the whore on his lap.

\- He’s probably feeling sad, muttered Cap to his mentally challenged cousin.

\- Because he loves a McCoy when he’s not supposed to ?

Cap answered nothing. Cotton looked at him expectantly, waiting for an answer that never came.

* * *

 

Cotton hated the taste of alcohol. It burnt and it was very bitter so he didn’t drink. But that day, he was with an Irish person, so he felt like it would be rude not to.

\- Oh my god, Eli, you didn’t have to drink that much.

Cotton was vomiting against a tree, soiling his boots and feeling tears on his cheeks. He stopped, getting up even if he felt very dizzy. He couldn’t stop crying.

\- But…he started, wiping tears off his face.

\- But nothing, said Colin. It’s okay not to drink, why did you drink that much ?

I want you to like me ! wanted to scream Cotton. Instead, he shook his head and mumbled nonsense, his eyes watering again.

\- You are a wonderful person, said Colin, shocking and calming Cotton.

He brushed a hand on his teary face and leaned to kiss his forehead. Cotton felt like suddenly the world had stopped and his heart was dying. He stayed paralyzed, even when the Irish boy smiled at him, messing his hair.

\- Come on, I’ll take you to my place. Nobody’s there tonight.

*¤*

When they arrived at the O'Callaghan’s household, it was already dark and chilly. Colin had Cotton installed on a comfortable lay.

\- Uncle Wall is going to worry, complained Cotton, slower than usual.

\- Do you know where he is right now ?

\- I don’t know. I’m sorry.

\- It’s okay. I’ll go, there is a horse, I’ll be back soon.

They could hear the wind.

\- The rain is coming, said Cotton.

\- It was really dry today, I don’t think it’s going to rain, Ellison, replied Colin, unfolding a blanket on him.

\- But the rain is calling, he mumbled. I don’t want you to be sick.

Colin watched the blond boy spread in his room. He was staring him with watery sparkly eyes and his red cheeks made him look like a child.

Colin knew loving Cotton was like loving a five-year old but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted to be always there for him, protect him and love him somehow, making sure the purest soul he had ever met was happy.

\- I reaaally love you, Colin, mumbled Cotton. I want to marry you and have babies with you.

Colin gulped in embarrassment. He was glad no one was at home. His sisters would look at him with wide eyes, and throw a Bible at his face.

\- I’ll be back soon, try to sleep Eli.

\- Will you come to sleep with me ?

Colin bit his lip. He knew Cotton didn’t mean what he was saying the way he understood it. He felt like some kind of monster, lusting over Ellison Hatfield “Cotton-Top” Mounts.

\- I will.

Cotton smiled and closed his eyes.

When Colin came back from Judge Wall’s house, he was soaking wet, a thick averse fell on his head.

*¤*

When the morning came, Colin felt it through his eyes, the sun rays burning his eyelids. Something else had woke him up, and he did everything he could to stay calm. Fingers were dancing on his collarbone and chest.

The night before, since it was very chilly and Cotton’s predictions about the weather were true, he just decided to lay down next to him to warm up. Actually, the truth was that he really wanted to be close to the other boy so he let himself slip for a second.

Cotton was mumbling things and Colin listened carefully.

\- I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Colin froze. What was he sorry for ?

\- I know I’m a mush-head and I’m ugly but I really, really love you Colin.

The mumbles were tickling Colin’s neck skin. It made his heart hurt somehow.

\- I really love you too Eli.

The blond jumped next to him, staring at his face. Colin smiled to make him relax. He didn’t. Colin’s face was very red and his hands shook a little bit.

\- I’m sorry !

\- It’s fine.

\- I didn’t… I just… I’m sorry… added Cotton, mortified.

\- I said it was fine, didn’t I ?

\- Yes. But you are nice.

\- And I really think it’s fine.

Cotton looked at him, his mouth slightly open. Colin returned the look. It was a dangerous position. They were both lying down, their bodies close and warm.

\- It’s fine I want to touch you ? said Cotton, still nervous, resting his hand on Colin’s chest in a bold move.

Colin couldn’t say anything. He never broke eye contact, letting Cotton brush his fingers across his bare chest the way he wanted.

\- I thought people say it’s disgusting to touch another man, mumbled Cotton, trembling.

\- I don’t, mumbled back Colin.

Cotton’s eyes widened and he stared a few more seconds.

\- It doesn’t feel disgusting for you ? he asked, unsure.

And then, Colin snapped. It was a clear morning, they were lying down, comfortable and warm, and their heat melting together. They were alone. Just him, and an angel in his bed. He jerked his chest up, standing on his elbows, and he closed his face from Ellison’s. He kissed his slightly parted lips as smoothly as he possibly could, and backed away a little.

Cotton was looking at him with his wide blue eyes.

\- You don’t think I’m disgusting if you kiss me right on the face.

Colin couldn’t help but laugh a little. Cotton blushed and looked down.

\- I’m sorry I say stupid things.

\- It’s not stupid. I’m not laughing at you, I’m just really happy.

Cotton looked up again, still unsure, and witnessing Colin’s smooth smile, he gathers his courage and kisses him back.

The kiss takes him by surprise but he doesn’t back away. He opens his eyes to see Cotton’s eyes squeezed shut, his blond eyebrows frowning in concentration. He retains a chuckle, and brush his hand up Cotton’s neck and jawline to make him relax.

Cotton lets a grunt escape his throat and it vibrates against Colin’s hand. He kissed him back slowly, his hands trembling against Colin’s chest.

They parted after a while. Colin kept brushing his fingertips across Cotton’s cheek.

\- I want to always be with you, mumbled Cotton. You… you never laugh at me, and you say you love me, and you taste really good when everybody has a horrible breath when they wake up.

Colin chuckled, keeping his hand on Cotton’s face.

\- I really love you.

\- I love you too Eli.

*

When Cotton came back home this morning, Uncle Wall patted on his shoulder.

\- I’m proud Cotton. It’s good you make friends.

Cotton-Top nodded, smiling and went after a rabbit  jumping in the back of the house, towards the forest.

* * *

 

Colin couldn’t believe what he was seeing. On a trash paper, he read the words again and again.

“WANTED, Dead or Alive, Ellison Hatfield “Cotton-Top” Mounts, accessory to murder in the execution of the three sons of Randall McCoy, 150 $ REWARD”.

So basically, they were calling the mourning son, the mentally challenged mourning son of a nice father savagely murdered an “accessory to murder” ? He wasn’t even in the firing squad.

He couldn’t believe it, his hands trembling and his guts twisting. A blurry drawing spread on the center of the paper, showing a smiley blond young man, his description underneath.

“Has a funny walk and is an idiot.” Colin’s jaw clenched.

\- O'Callaghan ! What are you looking at ?

Colin’s head jerked up to see Cotton’s cousin Billy. He handed him the paper, his mouth shut.

\- Oh. Cotton-Top is becoming a good friend of yours, isn’t he ? Don’t worry about that, dad and Uncle Wall are warning everybody.

\- They say really awful things about him.

\- Well, it’s not like Cotton-Top was going to understand anyway.

Colin’s mouth gaped.

\- How dare you ! he snapped at the kid.

Billy looked at him, a bit shocked by the redhead’s reaction.

\- You can’t talk about him like that, he’s a person ! He has dignity and feelings !

\- I… I know.

\- Well, don’t do that anymore.

\- I won’t.

Colin face still seeping rage, he shredded the paper in a milion pieces that rolled in the wind.

A few feet from there, a white hand grabbed a bit with the word “idiot” marked on it. It didn’t matter what it said, because Cotton-Top couldn’t actually read anyway.

He shredded the little paper.

\- You made yourself a nice friend, Cotton-Top. Who is he ?

Cap had appeared behind him in the dark alley and watched towards Colin and Billy walking down the avenue.

\- He’s my friend. He’s Irish and he can drink a lot. He loves me very much.

Cap smiled and patted his shoulder. He left, leaving Cotton-Top alone.

\- And I love him very much as well, he mumbled, his eyes on the dirty floor.

* * *

 

Ian and Mickey didn’t move at all that night. Usually, they shifted, too warm or too sore, and changed positions three or more times in the night. They were deeply asleep, their chest barely rising, as if they were dead.

* * *

 

\- Colin.

\- Yes ?

\- I’m sad I killed the little girl.

Colin said nothing, his throat so big it felt like it was going to explode.

\- They said she wasn’t allowed, and… I… I’m sorry.

\- It’s not your fault.

\- But she… she wasn’t allowed.

\- I know, Ellison.

\- She’s dead.

Once again, Colin was speechless. They were outside, bathing in the sweet warmth of the camp fire, blankets underneath and on top of them. Colin took a swig of his whiskey.

\- They shouldn’t have make you do it, mumbled Colin.

Cotton looked at him, scandalized.

\- But they love me, and I love them, and they trusted me.

Cotton fidgeted, the words coming bad.

\- It’s a big deal. I’m sorry !

\- Stop apologizing, Eli. It’s not your fault.

Cotton nodded and closed himself from the Irish boy.

\- I’m sorry, repeated Cotton.

\- It’s fine.

Colin turned to Ellison and grabbed his face.

\- It’s. Fine.

\- But… But I’m sorry.

Colin’s eyes watered, looking at the fear and panic smearing Cotton’s expression.

\- I’m… If I murdered, I can’t go to heaven with Pa.

Colin grabbed Cotton by the shoulders and pressed their chest together.

\- You will. You did nothing wrong. It wasn’t your fault.

\- I’m sorry… She wasn’t allowed.

Colin embraced Cotton as tight as he could, glad the blond boy won’t be able to see the tears flowing on his face.

\- It’s fine, it’s fine.

\- Now, I’m stupid and killer. I am disgusting. They say I am a mush-head, a monster.

Colin sobbed, hugging the boy as gently as he could.

\- They… They are stupid, they are the killers. You’re an angel, Ellison. I would have you for a thousand more crappy lives. I love you. You are not disgusting, don’t you ever call yourself that.

Cotton looked up, breaking the embrace. He reached Colin’s wet face and wiped some tears away.

\- A… thousand more crappy lives ?

Cotton looked like he had no clue what Colin meant. Colin rubbed his palms on his face, wiping the tears away.

\- They say, sometimes your soul don’t go straight to heaven, but they keep it on earth and you are born in a new baby after you die.

Cotton’s mouth gaped. He smiled, disbelieving.

\- Nooo… It’s not true.

Colin chuckled, his eyes still red.

\- I promise, it’s a real thing, it’s called, reincarnation.

\- And… when I die I go in a baby ?

\- Yes.

\- And… the baby becomes a mush-head ?

\- No ! I don’t know. Why do you say that ?

\- It is very sad to live like an idiot, Colin.

\- But you are not ! Do you ever listen to me ?

\- I am !

Colin was startled. He looked at Ellison, not understanding why his expression was that hard, for such a sweet person.

\- I am idiot. I don’t know lot, and I’m slow, but I know that. It’s not mean when it’s true.

Colin brushed his fingers against Ellison’s cheek, and went to caress his hair.

\- Of course it is. So what if you can’t get all the stupid shit everyone says ? You understand the most important things. You understand loyalty and family. You understand faith, nature, animals. You understand, work, fight and having fun. You understand truth and above it all you understand love. You know, most of the people who call you names don’t get half of these. They are the stupid ones. You’re sent by God.

\- But…

Colin waited expectantly. When he said all those things, Cotton had smiled widely, but now he was back to his nervous self, fidgeting and fearing eye contact.

\- But… you won’t lay with me because I’m…

\- … what ?!

Cotton was looking at the fire, fidgeting and grabbing his thumbs.

Colin felt his heart blow somehow. It was true, he kept himself from lusting over Cotton because he was slow and spoke and obviously thought like a five years old. He was afraid to scare him. He was so innocent after all.

\- Do… do you mean you want me to…?

\- I’m sorry ! nearly screamed Cotton, standing up. I’m sorry… I…

\- Wait ! Ellison !

\- I leave now…

Cotton was wandering around the fire and within the second, Colin was standing up beside him, stopping him.

\- Come on, stop, Eli ! Let’s talk about it !

\- I’m sorry, repeated Ellison, his hands around his head. I’m sorry, I leave…

\- Cotton-Top ! finally shouted Colin.

They both froze. Cotton looked up at him.

\- You called me Cotton-Top.

\- Yes. Please stay, Cotton-Top.

Ellison chuckled.

\- It’s funny when you say Cotton-Top.

Colin smiled and grabbed Ellison’s wrists and kissed him.

*¤*

\- Ah… Ah…

The moon was higher in the sky and if they looked above, they’d see a bazillion stars smeared in the sky. But at that moment, the only stars Cotton saw were behind his eyelids.

Colin and Ellison had laid back on the blankets and kissed for a while until Colin had got bolder and reached underneath his clothes. He was slow and sweet, knowing how physical contact was a big deal to Cotton.

\- I… stop !

Colin froze and immediately opened his hand.

\- What is it ? Did I hurt you ?

Cotton took a few deep breaths and tried to sit. Colin, a bit afraid, sat as well, waiting for Ellison to speak. He didn’t though. Once he gained balance, he reached for Colin’s pants, who retained a gasp.

\- You… oh my god… you don’t have to, if you don’t want to…

Cotton looked up at him.

\- But I want to, he pouted.

Colin was speechless. He let Cotton open his pants, grabbing his shaft through the thin fabric of his underpants.

\- Wow, yours is really big !

Colin bit his lip. Cotton had reached for it and it stood there, fully hard.

\- Your hair is red here too !

\- Yes, you hair is blond down too.

Ellison smiled widely, his breathing still difficult, and his cheeks pink.

\- Will you embrace me like the other embrace women ?

Colin had to stop the motion of Cotton’s hand or he was going to come right here and now.

\- We are both men Eli.

Ellison looked a bit disappointed.

\- But I saw Johnse fuck this whore back in the bar and it looked really nice for her.

Ohmygod, thought Colin for himself. He hadn’t plan on ever doing what they were doing right now, but instead of being afraid, Cotton just demanded things like that. He looked at his angelic face and nodded, breathing his guilt away.

\- I know a way.

*¤*

Cotton never remembered feeling anything like that. He had hurt at first but he hadn’t say anything, mesmerized by Colin’s beautiful face, enlightened by the fire light, his freckles obvious from that close. The Irish lad’s expression was nothing he had seen before, both relieved and tensed. He kept licking and biting at his beautiful red lips and he frowned a little, as if he was diving in a warm pool.

The sky full of stars made his muscled body look even paler and smooth, sweat glowing with the red light of the fire. Cotton felt his entrance loosen completely and in some sort of waves, a sweet heat went everywhere in his body and it made him lose his mind.

\- I love you so much, Ellison.

Cotton’s breath hitched, and at the same time, Colin had lowered himself to be closer to him. He entered and hit his soul.

Cotton was sure it was his soul because he opened his eyes in his scream and he felt like he was dying the best death anyone can dream of.

Colin stopped moving, concern in his eye, and caressed his cheek.

\- Are you okay ?

\- Yes.

\- Are you sure ?

Cotton nodded hard.

Colin moved again, hitting the place again, and Cotton moaned hard one more time.

\- Is it because it’s good ?

Cotton nodded, tears in the corner of his eyes. Colin bit his lips and nodded. He took Ellison in his arms, kissed him, and moved again.

Cotton never saw that much stars in his whole life.

* * *

 

Cotton was preparing his gun and his outfit. Colin beside him had a hollow expression on his face. He didn’t say anything, knowing how much loyalty to his family was important to him.

\- Aren’t you afraid ? asked Colin, mumbling.

\- Aren’t you afraid ? repeated Cotton.

Sometimes, when his mind was too stressed out he couldn’t manage to answer anything, but he knew he had to answer something so his brain just made him repeat what he just heard.

Colin knew his eyes were watery. He held himself on the furniture and cursed his injury again. He had a horrible feeling about this battle. He couldn’t go, and Hatfields ranks were emptying too fast. He didn’t want Cotton to go but he couldn’t tell him.

\- I love you Ellison.

\- I love you Ellison.

Colin chuckled.

\- I’m sorry. I love you Colin.

\- It’s fine. You will come back right ?

Cotton-Top nodded.

\- You know I’ll go to the end of the world to get you right ?

Cotton smiled.

\- But you said we have a thousand of crappy lives.

\- You remember that ? smiled Colin, backing to see his face.

\- You remember that ? repeated Cotton. Sorry, he added, wincing.

Colin shook his head, walked to the window to close the curtain, went back to Ellison and leant down for a kiss. Cotton kissed him back.

* * *

 

\- Prisoner ? How come ?

Cap’s eye was looking at him without a word.

\- How could you leave him there ?! His head is a price !

\- We couldn’t do anything. Dad decided for us to leave after Billy...Well, he couldn’t escape from where he was.

Colin leant on his crutch and bit his lip.

\- Do you think he’s going to be fine ?

Cap shrugged and left.

Colin looked up as Devil Anse passed by him, Billy’s body in his arms, hearing Billy’s mother’s screams from afar.

* * *

 

\- Hey, Uncle Wall.

\- Yes, kid.

\- I have someone I love.

\- Do you ?

Cotton nodded even if it was dark. The other Hatfields were asleep, fidgeting in their nightmares.

\- What’s her name ? asked Judge Wall, cuffing.

\- It’s Colin.

\- Isn’t it a little bit masculine ?

Cotton looked up with his wide blue eyes full of fear. Judge Wall sighed.

\- You know you’re not supposed to lay with men, said the old man’s tired voice.

\- But he loves me even if I’m a mush-head. Girls are mean, said Cotton in a shaky mumble.

Judge Wall sighed again. He prayed the Lord to forgive a foolish mind.

\- How is he ?

Cotton-Top brushed his hands in his filthy blond hair.

\- He’s the nicest. Like Pa. His hair is red. He’s Irish and he can drink a lot.

Judge Wall looked across the cell at his nephew.

\- He told me to come home.

\- You are afraid he’s worried ?

Cotton-Top nodded.

\- Well, you are a man. You have to make proud whoever you leave home.

\- How can I make him proud ?

Judge Wall shook his head at the question. A different place and time, he definitely would have reacted differently. But they were in a cell, in the middle of the night, Cotton was clearly very upset and himself was very sick. He felt his body declining so much that he wasn’t going to start any fight whatsoever for whatever reason.

\- Always keep you head straight, kid. And speak your mind.

Cotton-Top nodded. He looked exhausted.

\- Thank you, Uncle Wall. Good Night.

\- Good Night Cotton-Top.

* * *

 

Colin felt like his soul was falling in a never ending hole inside his body. He barely heard himself scream in pain.

Death penalty.

They were _hanging_ Ellison.

Colin bent over in a dark alley and puked. He didn’t eat much since Eli was prisoner so bile was burning his throat and even more tears added to the ones he didn’t know he had.

Someone patted his shoulder and he stood up immediately.

\- Cap ! Cap, you have to do something !

He stayed silent, breaking Colin’s heart again.

\- Come on… Please. _Please_ !

Cap shook his head.

Exactly at that second he knew how much exactly he loved Ellison. The horrible, excruciating pain that left his chest open was how much he loved him.

\- So… so you’re not going to save him ?

Cap stayed silent and more tears fell down Colin’s face.

\- Is he alone ?

\- Uncle Wall and other cousins are probably in his cell, finally spoke Cap.

\- Yeah he probably thinks you’re coming for him ! screamed Colin. How can you do that to him ! He does everything for you !

\- Dad said…

\- I don’t want to know ! I don’t fucking CARE ! yelled Colin, making some people look over to them. All I care is that he’s alone in a fucking cell and that they… they are going to…

Colin couldn’t hold back his sobs.

\- And I can’t go there…

\- I’m sorry, muttered Cap. I’m sorry.

Colin didn’t bother wiping his tears. He clenched his jaw and limped home.

* * *

 

Ellison Hatfield _“Cotton-Top”_ Mounts. That was his name and everybody seemed determined to call him. They were telling him he was going to die. They spoke fast, laughed when he couldn’t respond.

He knew it was over soon, so he was pretty happy when they took him out and tied him to go to the gallows.

There were a lot of people. It was actually exciting, everybody was dressed well and there were children as well. Everything around was green, and it was warm, the clear summer breeze tickling his face. He saw further away Randall McCoy by himself drinking and he felt sorry for him.

Then, a little girl smiled shyly at him and he waved his hand.

His head felt empty. Even more than usual. He felt himself dragged up there and the rope was tied to his neck so quickly he barely had the time to understand what they were going to do next.

Nobody was coming. Nobody came for him.

He had never been so alone in this life.

\- The Hatfields made me do it… he said.

Images were piling before his eyes. His father. His childhood with the cousins. The forest. The river. Rabbits. _Colin_. No one was there.

\- They hornswoggled me with love !

 _Love_. For a second, while he started choking, he saw him. He’s there, red fiery hair. He came for him. The last thing he heard was a heartbreaking scream and a shoot.

* * *

 

Colin had came all the way on his sick horse. He couldn’t care less, he wasn’t going to live. He made it to the place just in time to see it, before even seeing him. He hadn’t stopped crying. His colt was already ready.

His Cotton just died before his eyes and he didn’t retain his scream.

_Bang._

* * *

 

Mickey startled awake, choking, his hands on his neck when Ian next to him screamed, tears falling down his face.

Ian looked up at him and grabbed him within the second, without a thought.

He sobbed in his arms, and Mickey looked around him. It was Ian’s Gallagher shared room with his siblings, it was messy and modern.

He took a deep breath and hugged Ian.

\- You were there.

\- Ellison ?

Mickey nodded and Ian sobbed a little more.

\- They… They hanged you !

Mickey didn’t know what to respond. For a few hours he had such a free and light spirit. It was still him underneath, but it had been like it was him at five or six years old, without the fear he had experienced with Terry. It was him, carefree.

\- It’s fine… It… it was a dream.

\- Like FUCK it was ! It was us ! You know people can’t dream the same things, right ?

\- I know that, I’m not still a mush-head, Gallagher !

\- Don’t you call yourself that !

They breathed a little and both sat down.

The house was quiet. If anyone else had been home, they would have stepped in a long time ago with all their screaming.

\- What time is it ? asked Ian.

Mickey shrugged and knelt down to pick up Ian’s iPhone. 10:30. He showed it to Ian.

Ian nodded, tears still wet on his face.

\- Stop crying, Ian, said Mickey.

\- I can’t… I mean… It was awful.

\- Yeah, well we’re here now, aren’t we ? We don’t even know if it was real, I mean maybe it was the old meth lab still intoxicating the house, shrugged Mickey.

Ian shook his head in disbelief.

\- It was real Mick. Hatfield and McCoys ? Family feud ? Ever been in history class ?

\- Yeah, I couldn’t miss any of it, scoffed Mickey, reaching his pack for a cigarette.

Ian shook his head.

* * *

 

They decided they had to see it by themselves. So they went there. It was different, of course, Pikeville looked nothing like the new ancient memories in their head.

Mickey stepped down the old beaten car and lit a cigarette.

\- I don’t even know what we’re doing here man.

Ian didn’t respond, taking Mickey’s free hand. They had looked up the Internet and found everything there was to know about Hatfield and McCoy families. Mostly Hatfield, actually and information about Ellison. They even found the trace of Colin O’Callaghan, his leg injury, a year prior his death and the actual circumstances of his death. He was called maniac, post-death, even though they knew the actual reasons behind his act

\- I can’t believe you would seriously kill yourself over me, Gallagher.

Ian shrugged.

-Of course I would, don’t be stupid.

\- You’re stupid.

Right before them was the memorial sign. He read :

 

 

> FEUDISTS ON TRIAL
> 
> Hanging site of Ellison Mounts,
> 
> Feb. 18,1890. Seven other Hatfield
> 
> supporters indicted for murder of
> 
> ALifair McCoy were sentenced to
> 
> life in prison. By the time of his
> 
> trial, Mounts had confessed. He was
> 
> also found guilty, but the jury
> 
> recommended the death penalty.
> 
> Pike County sheriff carried out
> 
> sentence. This was one of last
> 
> episodes on Hatfield-McCoy feud.

 

\- You know, said Mickey, reading the sign, I didn’t really confess.

\- You didn’t ?

Mickey smoked on his cigarette, nodding.

\- I was doing that retarded thing, you know, repeating shit.

\- Oh my god.

\- Can’t say no good about our fucking cops, but they aren’t as much shitheads by now.

\- It feels so awful.

\- Don’t Ian. It’s okay, it’s over.

\- No, I’m feeling like I’m going crazy Mick, and you know that’s a fucking lot coming from me since I actually am crazy-...

\- Don’t fucking call yourself that, grunted Mickey.

\- …- and I can’t understand who sent us those images ! Why do we know ?

Mickey shrugged.

\- Maybe they wanted it us to know that our current life’s shit isn’t actually the worst shit we’ve been through.

They stayed silent a little while.

\- There is another question.

\- Of course there is, grumbled Mickey, tossing his smoke away.

\- Why do I stay with those red hair through all my lives, when you get to change it ?

Mickey blinked. Once. Twice. Ian’s smile wasn’t so much sad anymore.

\- Are you fucking stupid Gallagher ? A hair question ? What a fucking fag.

\- Oh come on, Milkovich, that’s a good one !

\- Nah, the good one is to know why I’m not still retarded.

\- Well, it’s flesh over soul in this case, maybe you fell on your head as a baby in the other life. Or your mom got sick. Or something.

\- Look who’s the reincarnation specialist, scoffed Mickey. I dye my fucking hair, by the way, that’s how. Let’s fucking go Gallagher, don’t wanna hang out in a place I’ve actually been hanged in.

Ian’s complexion paled even more for a second, and he shoved Mickey.

\- Fuck you, don't joke about that ! Okay, let’s go visit, it looks awesome even if it’s no more like a sexy vintage western movie. And what do you mean you dye your hair ?

\- Got a thing for guns, Ian ? And I’m not talking about it, faggot.

Ian laughed and they walked towards the river.

Against a wall, not far from the old car, two men watched the lads leave.

\- It’s nice to see they’ve found the other, said the eldest.

\- I knew you were the romantic type Uncle Wall. 

The other was smiling, his hat making a dark shadow across his face. If you looked close enough, his eyes weren’t the same color, one was a greenish brown, and the other was a clear blue.

\- I’m not really.

\- Yes, you are, he scoffed. Cotton-Top isn’t a mush-head anymore, he added, after a pause.

\- As if it ever made a difference.

Cap shrugged and left the wall.

\- You don’t want to tell him to find us ?

\- Maybe, someday. I’m telling you, Ellison’s going to be goddamn happy we found his son. Mickey Milkovich, right ?

Cap nodded. Wall dusted his pants and followed his nephew.

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope it was okay ! I hope you understood all of it if you haven't actually watched the mini-serie.
> 
> Well. You can still find me on [tumblr](http://baronneletzen.tumblr.com/) !


End file.
